Dear Pancreas:

Contrary to popular belief, I have not been destroyed by your minions. This battle isn't over yet.


Monday, April 1, 2013

You can come after me if you want, diabetes, but it will be the last thing you do. I promise you that.

Alarms have been my new thing.  Suggested to me, to snap me out of whatever land I may be in at the time a blood sugar is needed.  

And one of those alarms, is this blog's title (minus the diabetes, of course).

So I got to thinking on my walk today, about said title phrase, and the various news stories I've heard about how many cancer patients have a fighting mentality about cancer.  They're going beat it.  Fight it. Own it.  Insert creative adjective here.  There have even been reports of patients getting PTSD from this fighting mentality.

And then I got to thinking about my diabetes, and if this mentality would work for me as well.

And the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was a different type of fight and the same type of fight, all in one.

In one sense, you would have to fight till the death, but in another sense you don't win by curing yourself, you win because you didn't get complications.

And perhaps, diabetes burn out, results from constantly fighting the good fight.  Fight Fight Fight Fight with no let up.  And if you put your guard down for one day, one hour, one millisecond... you're on the ground.

So mentally, how do you address diabetes in a way that doesn't totally suck the life out of you, but that also makes you a stick in the mud?

More and more, I think of diabetes being more like Parkinson's Disease (my dad has it).  I watch how, if he doesn't get the doses exactly right, he will get the side effects of the drugs (intense shaking).

I watch how it slows him down both mentally and physically.  Parkison's, is another disease you just can't ignore unless you want to be on the ground (so to speak).  (I'm sure there are a lot of diseases that come in this fashion).

And he has to set a variety of alarms to remind him to take certain pills, and if he forgets, things go haywire.  But where his effects are immediate, ours are more insidious.

You know the consequences are coming.  You don't know when and you don't know how, but you know they are coming.....

My name is Boyd Crowder.  You can come after me if you want, but it will be the last thing you do.  I promise you that.  

In the long run, how realistically, can we maintain a Boyd Crowder stance?  For a Justified (tv show) stand point, Diabetes, is like the law chasing after Boyd constantly waiting to catch him in the act.  And sometimes he is caught.

At one point Boyd has an interesting exchange with Raylan:
Boyd: What brings you to my house?
Raylan: Oh, this is your house now?
Boyd: Why, yes, prison is my home.
And how would that look with diabetes and yourself?

Boyd: What brings you to my house?
Diabetes: Oh, this is your house now?
Boyd: Why, yes, prison is my home.

Maybe we don't break free from Diabetes?
But maybe accepting this, gives us more power?

We know, that sooner or later, we will get out of our rut.  We'll put up the good Boyd challenge.  But when we let our guard down, and get caught, maybe we need the same Boyd mentality.

To shrug the fact that sure, diabetes won today, but it won't everyday.